Friendship Ties
by MrsBigTuna
Summary: Two perspectives of the character of Ellie Nash, whom I adore. CraigxEllie JimmyxEllie


_**Disclaimer: I don't own Degrassi. Any copyright infringements are unintentional. **_

_Summary: Two perspectives of the character of Ellie Nash, whom I adore. CraigxEllie JimmyxEllie_

_A/N: I wrote this shorty after writing the epilogue of "Only Time Will Tell", and only now have a few minutes to spare to post it. This idea came into my head after watching a marathon of Degrassi and I just wanted to see how it would turn out. I always thought they both lusted after her at the same time, so this is during Season 5. As always, read, review and enjoy!_

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**Jimmy:**

I first saw in our grade nine. She had become Ashley's friend after our falling out. At the time, I had tried to put up this defensive attitude about her, not wanting to think about her, still hurt from the previous year events. Seeing Ashley with her new look, her new attitude, she seemed so mature, so different from the apple-polishing student she had always been. But what intrigued me more was Ellie. She seemed so evolved from everyone, with her piercings and clothes and her general disregard to the world at large. At first, it scared the shit out of me, but for some reason, her vibe... her way was just... different, and refreshing. So when Spinner got her number, I was a little more than jealous.

Our paths never really crossed much. She was always around Ashley, and we only really interacted at my one party that year. She stayed close to the sidelines, mostly just observing everyone else. I liked that she didn't feel she needed to fit in, that her presence was enough to supplement any real connection to anyone else at the party. And of course when Sean had the party come to a screeching halt, I was more caught up with Ashley, finding her eyes amongst the crowd, forgetting about the quiet Goth chick.

It wasn't until she started dating Marco that we seemed to be hanging in the same crowd. She was still close to Ashley, but when we fell out again, I didn't talk much about Ashley in her presence. Most of our conversations consisted of where Marco was going to be that night or if she was meeting him after a pick-up basketball game. She was always distant, with a quiet confidence that was so different, making me wonder if she even needed a boyfriend, she had enough self-esteem to spread some around. It wasn't until she stopped hanging around Marco so much when I noticed another sleeping giant resting behind her eyes, as if she was missing something that I nor anyone else could figure out.

She stayed in the same crowd, being attached to Marco's hip when the usual gang would hang out. I always found it strange that she would come to our gatherings, usually being shunned by the rest of them. Paige with her snapping remarks and Spinner and his eventual repulsion of her after his brief crush back in grade nine. She didn't seem to fit in with our status quo, wearing non-labels she most likely made herself or got from a thrift store or something she thought was avant-garde or whatever intellectuals like her got clothing. But it all made sense when Marco came out the closet. She was only around him because Ashley was with Craig and he was pretty much her only confident.

I was upset when she stopped sitting with us at lunch, enjoying her subtle quips about our mundane existence in high school, rationalizing our efforts of trying to be the 'Cool Kids' as prepubescent allegiance to the unwritten code, spiking it with her own rebellion. After Ashley and Craig had broken up, after Craig's stupidity, I got even less snippets of anything about her. My fascination wasn't because I was attracted her, it was simply because none of my friends were like her. My fascination grew when a few of us were stuck in detention together. I was still wrapped up in my own image, associating with Ellie would seem odd to other people, especially after her relationship with Marco ended. But hanging out with her for an entire day had its advantages. Yes, it did start my relationship with Hazel, but being able to have an excuse to hang with the elusive Ellie Nash was good in its own right.

After that, our paths barely crossed as they usually didn't, only seeing her in the hallways where she was either with Sean, making out with Sean or with Marco or Ashley. After Craig put together the group, Downtown Sashsquash, with Marco, Spinner and me did I see her outside of school in the contest. I was in love with Hazel, but getting a chance to know her anymore than I could was always welcome. With Ellie, the world always seemed trivial and even when it seemed like everything was crashing down, she could still present her fatal defiant glare.

I had heard her moving in with Sean through other people, hearing about her mother and other stupid gossip that only existed in the hallways of any high school. I would see her hanging with Sean all the time, rushing to class or running from the parking lot to make the bell. It wasn't until 'Whack Your Brain' when everything changed. Losing the ability to walk was one thing, but losing the will to live is something completely different. After that day, I seemed to have altered personalities. I didn't see the point in trivial things like the new Triple 5 Soul track outfit or the new song on the radio. I was bored out of my mind, but I couldn't find any joy in the things I once loved. And after hearing the reason for all of this, my best friend's betrayal, it only made my present condition that more removed from my previous life.

It was then that everything changed. Ellie joined Downtown Sashsquash. She replaced Spinner, bringing new life into the once dull band. With her on board, we were practically practicing every night and eventually landed a gig. It didn't take much to notice that after Craig and Ashley finally ended and after Ellie and Craig had spent so much time together during the summer in group that I noticed the silent stares Ellie would give Craig, the small laughs she let escape in his presence or the gentle smiles she displayed when he was near. I knew that Craig was a great guy, but he had already managed to take Ashley away from me. I knew it was only a matter time until he would get Ellie too.

Than the most unexpected thing happened... Craig chose Manny. He chose her over Ellie, which still didn't make any sense, even I could see their potential. I felt guilty having these adulterous feeling against Hazel, who had been with me through everything from the shooting to my eventual partial healing. I did in fact love Hazel, but we had become different people since all those months ago. We had different dreams, different pursuits and were just too different to ever be able to be close again. We slowly drifted apart, mostly because of my not-so-secret attachment to Ellie. Like I said, my fascination wasn't because I was in love with her, it was because she was different from every other girl I've known, seeing my talent before everyone else and simply being this force throughout my acquaintance with her, seeing the world differently and only until recently, letting me explore it too.

If only I could just say that to her...

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**Craig: **

I first saw her in grade nine. She was with Ashley Kerwin all the time, passing notes in class, laughing at the other guys in class, but at the time, I only had eyes for Ashley. Ellie was distant, only saying few words, most of them were filled with spite and cynicism. I had he biggest crush on Ashley, hearing little snippets of her new look from other people, always speculating it was brought on by Ellie. With her, she didn't seem like she needed Ashley, more like Ashley needed her. I wasn't familiar with either one of their past, but I knew from her presence, her attitude... Ellie Nash didn't need a post to lean on.

Our paths seemed to cross often, mostly because of my on-and-off again relationship with Ashley. I dated Manny Santos briefly, mostly out of longing for Ashley, but during my whole tirade of attraction, my thoughts drifted to Ellie. Regardless of his affection for Ashley, thinking about the mysterious haunting glares of the Goth girl would consumed my mind for days. Eventually, I got to see her more when she started seeing Marco. With their relationship budding, I was able to still pursuit Ashley. But from time to time, I still found myself interested about what Ellie thought about certain things, hearing from both Ashley and Marco how she knew everything. I guess it might have been me being so shy or the weird looks I might have gotten from my friends, but I never had the courage to really talk to her. I mostly blamed my crush on Ashley.

It wasn't until after I finally started dating Ashley that I was able not obsess so much about being with Ashley and think about a friendship with Ellie. We had started hanging out more often, and I learned how similar the two were. What I liked the most though was her general attitude about the world, her perspective outlook on life and her ability to find humor in it all. I admired her so much, but she seemed to read me completely, making me feel like whenever I was near her, I was under a microscope, as if she knew my motives before I even knew them. So when I started the band, I tried to distant myself again from her, afraid of her criticism or comments.

And than I did the dumbest thing ever. I didn't just cheat and lie to one girl, but two. Being the idiot that I am, I thought I could keep them both happy. And the cold glares I received from Ellie was just as bad as cheating on Ashley and Manny. I couldn't comprehend the hold that she had over me, her judging eyes and her cynical quips, but it only made the guilt that I felt worsen. It didn't get any better when Manny ended up pregnant. I was so ashamed of how I acted, the way I made Manny feel and the remainder of my infidelity on Ashley, someone like Ellie, knowing she had my number from day one terrified me to no end.

It only worsened when Ashley and I got back together. She would complain how Ellie thought she was weak getting back together with me, making me look more like an asshole than I already was. Ellie seemed to sick with one notion, regardless of she was told differently, making it impossible to change her mind. Her stubbornness was almost as intimidating as the fact that most of her assumptions were accurate. So, I tried to have Ashley make up her own mind with what she wanted in our relationship, how she wanted us to go on. But of course, something bigger than Ellie Nash's judgment seemed to alter my life forever. After my breakdown and eventual diagnosis, Ashley seemed to be more distant. I hated that my disorder caused the riff, but deep inside, I didn't blame her, I only wished I could change. Ellie's life outside seemed to reach me, snippets of her relationship with Sean, their home life and her relationship with her mother. I wanted to be a person she could come to, someone she felt that she could talk to like Ashley and Marco, but I knew that I had to fix my own life first before trying to effect another's.

And than it all changed... I started going to group. Who was I to know that the mysterious shadows behind Ellie's green eyes were shadows of pain and loss. I was nervous to ask anything further than what was discussed in group, afraid she might spit back her patented snide remarks, so I stayed distant. It wasn't until she approached me one day after group did things between us changed. At first, I thought that she was playing around with me, trying to trap me in a lie or some fabrication, but what I got was something I didn't think I could ever have again, a friend. She pulled me aside after group, saying she wanted to talk. What started as a walk around the park ended up being an entire evening, just talking. We talked about music, books, film, school, our friends and what brought us here to group. I never thought I could be that open with anyone. Before long, I craved being about to spill my guts to her. She was like my very own confessional, being able to tell her how I felt, my manic tendencies and my fears. The greatest thing about all was that she didn't seem to have the judging glares she once gave me, replacing with a ear and a shoulder to lean on. She would stay with me when I felt the most low, missing Ashley and scared of myself. She was there when I had good days, wanting to spend those days with the guitar in my hand and around things I loved the most. During that summer, I didn't just gain the best friendship I ever had, but I gave the best one I ever could. As much as she was there for me, I would be there for her as well. It wasn't until than that I could confidently say that I had a best friend. Ellie Nash was my best friend.

It was when she joined the band however when I saw something new behind her eyes, something that I never saw before. I recognized the glares of judgment and the shadows of pain, but this new glow that seemed to take over her was different. It wasn't until after our gig when I found out what it was... love. Ellie was in love with me. I couldn't think of anything was as great and terrifying as that. I knew that there was something between us during the previous summer, but I was terrified of losing the greatest friendship I had ever known. I couldn't risk not having her in my life if we happened to end. My relationship with her was better than anything I ever had with Ashley, but with Manny, I knew that I could be with her and be this perfect guy for her. I could have a second chance. With Ellie, she knew my flaws, she knew me better than anyone. She was the single coolest girl I'd ever known, but I would never be the kind of guy she needed. What she need was someone who would help her escape her demons, not remind her of them.

If only I could just say that to her...

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_And that's it. I don't want to continue this. It is what it is, simply that. I hope you guys liked this interesting look at my favorite character Ellie Nash and look out for more one-shots and some more Crellie fics soon. _

_By the way... just curious, but does anyone know if Season 7 is the final season? I heard that there's a Season 8, but I wasn't sure, so if you guys know anything, please share in reviews. Thanks!!_

_Here's hoping there's some Crellie in Season 8!_


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